A Sunday School teacher asked her students to draw
a picture of their favorite Old Testament story,
and as she moved around the class, she saw there
were many wonderful drawings being done. Then she
came across Johnny who had drawn an old man driving
what looked like a station wagon. In the back seat
were two passengers, both apparently naked.
"It's a lovely picture," said the teacher, "but
which story does it tell?"
Johnny seemed surprised at the question. "Doesn't
it say in the Bible that God drove Adam and Eve out
of the Garden of Eden?"
A police officer had just pulled over a car full
of nuns for going too slow on a major highway. The conversation
went like this:
Police officer: "Why were you driving so slowly?"
Nun driver: "I kept seeing all these signs with the number
20 on them and figured that was the speed limit."
Police officer: "No, Sister, that is the highway number."
Nun: "Oh, I'm so sorry, Officer, I didn't know that."
Then the police officer looks into the back seat and sees that
the nuns there have panic-stricken faces and white knuckles from
holding on to each other too tightly.
Police officer: "What's wrong with the nuns in the back seat?"
Nun: "Oh, we just got off Highway 101 a few miles ago."
A priest was preaching on the evils of alcoholism.
He ended by saying, "It is my fervent prayer that someday
soon all alcohol in this city will be poured into the nearest
The lector then announced, "The Offertory hymn
will be number 312: 'Shall We Gather At The River.'"
Little Johnny was happy when his
family moved into a bigger house. "Now there are separate
rooms for me, my brother and my sister. But poor Mom still has
to room with Dad!"
All of the text jokes above were originally
on the Catholic1.com website.
A young couple invited their pastor for Sunday dinner.
While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the priest
asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are
you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to
Mom, Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other
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